Sweeney Todd: The Glee Version
by KlaineGleekFanGirl
Summary: It's basically Sweeney Todd replaced with Glee characters. Finchel and mentions of Klaine. NOT SEBLAINE: NO MATTER WHAT SEBASTIAN TELLS YOU!
1. There's No Place Like London

**A/N: Yes, my mind knows no limits and yes you did read correctly. This is the Sweeney Tood movie...in Glee style. Unsuprisingly enough, there's mentions of Klaineness! YAY! And of course.. *sighs* Finchel. Be noted that this is not Seblaine; no matter what Sebastard-I mean...Sebastian-the-demon-child says. So for all of you creepers out there who like Seblaine, get the Klaine outta my story O.o... Ahem: My character list.**

**Sweeney Todd: Blaine Anderson (YAY!)**

**Mrs. Lovett: Sebastian Smythe (Yes, Sebastian is now a girl. You may laugh at his stupidity now. :P)**

**Judge Turpin: Karofsky (You saw that coming.)**

**Beadle Bamford: Azimio (You knew it was gonna happen.)**

**Johanna: Rachel Berry (It was originally Mercedes, but then I realized how weird it would be pairing her with Finn...)**

**Anthony Hope: Finn Hudson (Yes, clueless Finn is now intelligent. Wow thats weird!)**

**Lucy: Kurt Hummel (Again: YAAY!)**

**Signor Adolfo Pirelli: Sue Sylvester (Yeah I know I'm insane. Get over it.)**

**Tobias: Will Schuester (The role was Artie's for like, less than a minute XD! And yes, Will is totally a 12 year old kid. Or was Tobias 10...?)**

**Disclaimer: Pshh, disclaimer? What are you talkin about? I totaly own Glee! -Ryan Murphy threatens to sue me if I don't stop lying right now- OKOKOK! All rights go to Ryan Murphy. I also don't own Sweeney Todd. :'(**

_Italics is Finn (Anthony) singing_

**Bold is Blaine (Sweeney Todd) Singing**

**Sweeney Todd: The Glee Version**

**Chapter 1: There's No Place Like London**

_I have sailed the world, beheld its wonders  
From the Dardanelles  
To the mountains of Peru,  
But there's no place like London-!_

**No, there's no place like London.**

"Mr Anderson?" Finn looked at his shipmate, slightly concerned.

**You are young.  
Life has been kind to you.  
You will learn.**

Blaine stared at the city ahead. It had been a very long time since he'd been here. He wondered where his beautiful Kurt was now? What was he doing? Had he cheated and gone with Karofsky? No, he would never...

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the ship finally stopping. At last; he'd reached London. He'd get to see Kurt again! He'd get to hug him, hold him, kiss him, snuggle with him, and together they would acheive their dreams of reaching Broadway together. But, not until he'd made sure he was alright, and that Karofsky hadn't hurt him or their adopted daughter Rachel in any way. If Karofsky had dared to try anything...

He snarled at the mere thought of anything ever happening to his beloved.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Finn asked, not noticing Blaine's look.

**There's a hole in the world  
Like a great black pit  
And the vermin of the world  
Inhabit it  
And its morals aren't worth  
What a pig could spit  
And it goes by the name Of London.  
At the top of the hole  
Sit the privileged few  
Making mock of the vermin  
In the lower zoo,  
Turning beauty into filth and greed.  
I too  
Have sailed the world, and seen its wonders  
For the cruelty of men  
Is as wondrous as Peru,  
But there's no place like London!**

Finn gazed at him curiously. Wondering what could possiby be bothering his companion? He was a bit surprised when Blaine spoke.

"I beg your indulgence, Finn, but my mind is far from easy. In these once familiar streets I feel shadows everywhere." Blaine sighed.

"Shadows?" Finn asked curiously.

"Ghosts," Blaine clarified.

Finn stared at him, utterly confused, but Blaine was already lost in his own world once again.

**There was a man once in my life,  
And he was beautiful,  
A gorgeous man once in my life,  
he was my reason and my life,  
And he was beautiful,  
And he was virtuous.  
And I was...  
Naive.**

Finn watched him attentitively, but Blaine hadn't noticed. He was flashing back to that day.

**There was another man who saw  
That he was beautiful,  
A pious vulture of the law,  
Who with a gesture of his claw  
Removed the my prescence from his plate.  
Then there was nothing but to wait  
And he would fall,  
So soft,  
So young,  
So lost,  
And oh, so beautiful!**

"And the gentleman, sir? Did he succumb?" Finn asked, anxious to hear what had happened to Blaine's beloved.

**Oh, that was many years ago...  
I doubt if anyone would know.**

"I owe you my life,Finn. If you hadn't spotted me, I'd be lost on the ocean still. Thank you," Blaine smiled appreciatively as he picked up his suitcase from the dock and prepared to take off.

"Will I see you again?" Finn asked.

"You might find me, if you like, around Fleet Street," Blaine replied.

"Until then, my friend," Finn smiled, holding out his hand which Blaine grabbed. The two exchanged a brief handshake before Blaine turned and hurried away.

Finn stared after him, hoping that all would go in favor for Blaine.

**There's a hole in the world  
Like a great black pit  
And it's filled with people  
Who are filled with shit  
And the vermin of the world  
Inhabit it...**

**A/N: So, how was the first chapter? R&R Please!**


	2. The Worst Pies In London

**A/N: Welcome to the second chapter. A shout out to my girl, amillionyears! You. Are. THE AWESOMENESSS! Umm, to that one anonymous reviewer who asked why Sebastian and Blaine were the main characters and why it's not Seblaine? First of all, I don't like Seblaine. Second, just because two characters are the main characters in the story doesn't mean they're gonna be paired together. Not every story on is romance ya know? And third, in Sweeney Tood, Sweeeney and Lovett are the main characters. Blaine is playing Sweeney Todd, and Sebastian is Mrs. Lovett. I hope I cleared it up for you. To that reviewer named Emmy. (Hope I got it right) I'd so go in that direction, if it weren't for the fact that I haven't seen any of the original play, so I wouldn't be comfortable just randomly trying to write it down like that. Way too complicated. Avert your eyes! Sebastian is coming!**

_Italics is Sebastian (Mrs. Lovett) singing._

**Chapter 2: The Worst Pies In London**

Blaine walked into the shop named "Mr. Smythe's Pie Shop" and stared at the man behind the counter. His first impression of Mister Sebastian Smythe was that he could not possibly be human. He looked way too sinister, and when he looked up at him and smiled, he only grew a little bit more terrifying in Blaine's eyes.

Sebastian looked up as a tall man with hazel eyes and slick, black hair entered the shop. Instantly, he knew that he wanted this man, and Sebastian usually always got what he wanted. He hitched on a smile and gasped, "A costumer!"

Blaine turned, about to just clear out right then, when suddenly,

_Wait!  
What's your rush? What's your hurry?  
You gave me such a -  
Fright, I thought you was a ghost!  
Half a minute, can'tcher sit!  
Sit you down, sit!  
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!  
Did you come here for a pie, sir?  
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague -  
Ugh! What is that?  
But you think we had the plague!  
From the way that people  
Keep avoiding -  
No you don't!  
Heaven knows I try, sir!  
Ick!  
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!  
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?  
Mind you, I can't hardly blame them!  
These are probably the worst pies in London!  
I know why nobody cares to take them,  
I should know,  
I make them,  
But good? No!  
The worst pies in London,  
Even that's polite!  
The worst pies in London,  
If you doubt it, take a bite!  
Is that just disgusting?  
You have to concede it!  
It's nothing but crusting!  
Here, drink this, you'll need it!  
The worst pies in London...  
And no wonder with the price of meat  
What it is  
When you get it  
Never  
Thought I'd live to see the day  
Men'd think it was a treat  
Findin' poor  
Animals  
Wot are dyin' in the street!  
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop!  
Does a business but I notice something weird.  
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared!  
Have to hand it to her -  
Wot I calls  
Enterprise  
Poppin' pussies into pies!  
Wouldn't do in my shop!  
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!  
And I'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!  
No denying times is hard, sir  
Even harder than the worst pies in London!  
Only lard and nothing more -  
Is that just revolting,  
All greasy and gritty?  
It looks like it's molting,  
And tastes like,  
Well, pity  
An old man alone,  
With limited wind,  
And the worst pies in London!  
Ah, sir, times is hard,  
Times is hard!_


	3. Poor Thing

**A/N: Another shout out to my girl Livi! You're still number 1 on the awesome list.**

_Italics is Sebastian (Mrs. Lovett) singing_

**Chapter 3: Poor Thing**

Blaine was utterly disgusted. The pie was the most horrible thing he'd ever had the displeasure of eating. Kurt would've made better pies. He downed the ale, trying to wash out that taste.

"Trust me, darling," Sebastian purred flirtatiously, "It's gonna take a lot more than ale to wash that taste out. Come with me, and we'll get you a nice tumbler of gin."

Blaine said nothing, and instead followed him into a rather cozy looking parlor. Dark, and dusty, yes, but still somewhat cozy. Or, at least, Blaine thought so as he sat on the couch in front of the fireplace.

"Isn't this homey, now?" Sebastian asked with a smile as he poured the drink out into a large cup. "The wallpaper was a real bargain too, it being only partly singed when the chapel broke down.

Blaine gulped down the gin, reminding himself to not eat anymore pies from here ever again.

"Isn't that a room over the shop?" he asked curiously. "If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out?"

Sebastian looked up, considering the room before replying, "Up there? Oh, no, no one will go near it." Something suddenly came to him. He stared hard at the slightly younger man before him. It couldn't be...after all these years...was it really him? "People think it's haunted," he said slowly.

"Haunted?" Blaine asked.

"And who's to say they're wrong?" Sebastian asked, holding his gaze. "You see, years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice."

_I knew a man once in my life,  
And he was beautiful,  
A proper artist with a knife,  
But they transported him for life._

_And he was beautiful..._

"Criss was his name. Darren Criss," Sebastian whispered quietly.

"Transported? What was his crime?" Blaine asked, pretending he didn't know.

"Foolishness," Sebastian hissed edgily.

_He loved this man, you see,  
Pretty little thing,  
Silly little nit  
Had his chance for the moon on a string-  
Poor thing. Poor thing._  
_There was this Judge, you see,  
Wanted him like mad,  
Every day he'd send him a flower,  
But did he come down from his tower?  
Sat up there and sobbed by the hour,  
Poor fool._

Blaine grimaced. He hated hearing those few words. If anything, he hated knowing his love had been so upset and lonely. He could just imagine it; Kurt sitting by the window, looking out, and waiting for Blaine to come back and tell him it was all going to be alright.

_Ah, but there was worse yet to come,  
Poor thing._

Blaine's face paled. Worse things had happened? He bit his lip; willing himself to remain silent.

_The Beadle calls on him, all polite,  
Poor thing, poor thing.  
The Judge, he tells him, is all contrite,  
He blames himself for his dreadful plight  
He must come straight to his house tonight!  
Poor thing, poor thing._

_Of course, when he goes there,  
Poor thing, poor thing,  
They're having this ball all in masks._

_There's no one he knows there,  
Poor dear, poor thing,  
He wanders tormented, and drinks,_

_Poor thing.  
The Judge has repented, he thinks,  
Poor thing.  
"Oh, where is Judge Karofsky?" he asks._

_He was there, all right-  
Only not so contrite!  
He wasn't no match for such craft, you see,_

_And everyone thought it so droll.  
They figured he had to be daft, you see,  
So all of 'em stood there and laughed, you see,  
Poor soul!  
Poor thing!_

"NO!" Blaine screamed, standing up, trembling from head to toe. He couldn't stand hearing this. His wonderful, sweet, kind,innocent Kurt had been raped by Karofsky. Guilt washed over him. He should've come sooner. He should've helped Kurt. He should've held him, and kissed him, and done everything in his power to come back instead of sitting in a jail cell for fifteen years. "Would no one have mercy on him?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

"So it is you! Darren Criss," Sebastian said in wonder.

"Where is Kurt?" Blaine asked desperatley. "Where is my husband?"

"He poisoned himself," Sebastian replied. "Arsenic from the apothecary on the corner. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen to me."

Blaine buried his face into his palms, sobbing. Kurt was...dead?

"And he's got your daughter," Sebastian added quietly.

"He? Judge Karofsky?" Blaine asked, looking up.

"Adopted her like his own," Sebastian confirmed.

"Fifteen years of sweating in a living hell on a false charge. Fifteen years dreaming that I might come home to a loving husband and child!" Blaine snarled, grinding his teeth together in anger.

"Well, I can't say the years have been particularly kind to you, Mr. Criss, but you still-"

"No. Not Criss. That man is dead. It's Anderson now. Blaine Anderson. And he will have his revenge. Karofsky and Azimio will pay for what they did," he growled. No one, under any circumstances, was going to hurt Kurt like that and get away with it.

"I'm going to need my shop back," he said, turning to Sebastian.

**A/N: Aw, so depresing! Poor Blainers!**


	4. My Friends

**A/N: Aw damn..stupid Karofsky. I wanted Kurt to go and cuddle Blaine at that moment! Grr...Next Chapter!**

**Bold is Blaine (Sweeney Todd) singing**

_Italics is Sebastian (Mrs. Lovett) singing_

_**Bold italics is both singing**_

**Chapter 4: My Friends**

Blaine quietly followed Sebastian out of the pie shop and up to the empty room. The door opened with an ominous creak that made Blaine shudder just a bit.

"Not to worry. A touch of oil will put that right," Sebastian said, stepping in. He turned and saw Blaine standing out there, looking in reluctantly. "Nothing to be afraid of, love, come in," he said this with another gentle purr.

Blaine stpped inside and watched as Sebastian kneeled on the ground and pried off a a loose floorboard. Blaine's eyes widened as Sebastian pulled a box out from underneath the floor, and blew dust off of it.

"I don't believe it!" Blaine gasped, stepping forward.

"When they came for the girl, I hid them," Sebastian said with a shrug. "I thought, who knows? Maybe the silly blighter will be back again! Cracked in the head wasn't I?" he chuckled as Blaine opened the box.

There was a long pause as Blaine stared at the razors inside, before Sebastian cleared his throat and commented, "Those handles are chased silver aren't they?"

"Silver, yes," Blaine replied in a whisper.

**These are my friends,  
See how they glisten.  
See this one shine,  
How he smiles in the light.  
My friend, my faithful friend.  
Speak to me friend,  
Whisper, I'll listen.  
I know, I know-  
You've been locked out of sight  
All these years-  
Like me, my friend.  
Well, I've come home  
To find you waiting.**

**Home,  
And we're together,  
And we'll do wonders,  
Won't we?**

**You there, my friend,**

_(I'm your friend too, Mr. Anderson)_

**Come, let me hold you.**

_(If you only knew, Mr. Anderson)_

**Now, with a sigh**

_(Ooh, Mr. Anderson)_

**You grow-**

_(You're-)_

_**warm  
In my hand.**_

**My friend,**

_(You've come home.)_

**My clever friend.**

_(Always had a fondness for you,  
I did.)_

**Rest now, my friends.**

_(Never you fear, Mr. Anderson,)_

**Soon I'll unfold you.**

_(You can move in here, Mr. Anderson,)_

**Soon you'll know-**

_**splendors  
You never have dreamed  
All your days-**_

_(Will be yours)_

**-My lucky friends.**

_(I'm your friend.)_

_**Till now your shine**_

_(Don't they shine beautiful?)_

**Was merely silver.**

_(Silver's good enough for me, Mr. A...)_

**Friends**

**You shall drip rubies,  
You'll soon drip precious  
Rubies...**

"Leave me now," Blaine whispered, and Sebastian complied, closing the door quietly on his way out.

**At last! My arm is complete again.**

**A/N: Wow...longish chapter XD!**


	5. Green Finch and Linnet Bird

**A/N: Sorry for the longish wait. Here's the 5****th**** chapter. Rachel and Kurt are in this one! EE!**

_Italics is Johanna (Rachel) singing_

**Chapter 5: Rachel**

Finn was simply walking down the sidewalk, not entirely sure where he was going, when suddenly he looked up and saw the most beautiful girl ever. She had long brown hair and eyes to match. She was incredibly short, but that only defined her beauty.

He frowned when he saw bars on her windows. Why was such a beautiful girl being locked away?

He didn't have much time to dwell on it as she began to sing.

_Green finch and linnet bird,  
Nightingale, blackbird,  
How is it you sing?  
How can you jubilate,  
Sitting in cages,  
Never taking wing?  
Outside the sky waits,  
Beckoning, beckoning,  
Just beyond the bars.  
How can you remain,  
Staring at the rain,  
Maddened by the stars?  
How is it you sing  
Anything?  
How is it you sing?_

Then she met his eyes, and a look passed between them as she continued.

_My cage has many rooms,  
Damask and dark.  
Nothing there sings,  
Not even my lark.  
Larks never will, you know,  
When they're captive._

Teach me to be more adaptive.  
Green finch and linnet bird,  
Nightingale, blackbird,  
Teach me how to sing.  
If I cannot fly,  
Let me sing.

Then the beautiful girl turned away in fear, and Finn was interrupted by the side of a tattered looking man in robes, his once blue-green eyes had faded to a dull gray color, and his hair, once brown and coiffed, was unstyled and almost as grey as his eyes. He was begging for money.

"Alms! Alms! For a miserable man on a miserable chilly morning!"

Finn dropped a coin in his house.

"Oh, thank you sir! Thank you!" the man replied.

"Sir, could you tell me whose house that is?" Finn asked.

"That's the Great Judge Karofsky's house, that is," he replied.

"And the lady who resides there?"

"That's Rachel, his pretty little ward. Keeps her snug he does, all locked up. So don't you go trespassing there or it's a good whipping for you, and any other man with mischief on his mind…" the man trailed off as he walked away, continuing his begging.

**A/N: Aww…Kurtie…**


End file.
